Your Childhood Sucked

While the majority of us are coming to grips with the big and intimidating decade we have ahead, the remainder are taking time to humiliate the defenseless past, mostly the previous decade, or the eighties, the universal butt of every culture joke. Of course, hilarity ensues among such critics until they reach their own childhood. Then they go quiet.
So much for seeing history realistically through rose-tinted glasses. Everyone, no matter how old, has a soft spot for a certain period during their childhood. For us, I suppose it was around 1997-2002 that we started to remember things fondly. However, although I hate to say it, our childhood sucked. Why? Look at the overwhelming evidence:

• The onslaught of boy bands and 'bubble pop' that dominated the American pop music industry for a short period in the late 1990's. Take vapid and commercial Aqua, *NSYNC, Spice Girls and The Backstreet Boys. The fact that they exist serves proof alone that music hit a new low after the spike in grunge and alternative music.
• September 11, 2001 refueled some well needed paranoia, public outbursts, xenophobia and poor stock market performance in Western society. It also was known as one of the darkest days in (very) modern history.
  
• I have a copy of Guiness World Records 1999. The largest television of the time was 50 inches long. VCR hadn't died out yet, nor had those garish Polaroid cameras. The best console on the market was the PlayStation (With games, I quote, "boasting state of the art graphics") and the... GameBoy Color. And everyone used... ugh... Windows 95.
• The public of the time paid millions, more than any other film then, to see a movie where there's people on a boat and it sinks and they die.

Look, I'm not going to be able to make a point here, so do the research here for yourself. The lesson is not to embrace culture, but open your eyes and see how ridiculous and pathetic it is. Like your childhood. It sucked.
~Ryoke out

The Ironic Mystique of Being Attacked By a Muffin

Everyone likes muffin fanfiction. Right?

You don't? And you don't either, sir? But I assure you, this muffin fanfiction is of the highest quality! It has blueberries! And children being hurt! And jokes involving fecal matter! Everyone enjoys those types of jokes!

*Sigh* Well, I tried. If you, however, are one of the esoteric few in the upper echelons of life that truly appreciates classy fiction of the sort, I request you make haste to my blog.

http://thechildrenwillbeharmed.blogspot.com/

There it is. In all it's two-post glory. Yes, I'm aware I'm openly advertising my blog in your face. So Ryoke out. Or whatever you do when you finish these types of posts. Fine, fine, I'll do it properly for the sake of consistency.

~Ryoke out